


Snap!

by Kiichixo



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack fic tbh, Crossdressing Izaya, Just crossdressing, M/M, Please don't leave he's not trans, Yakuza Dad, i had no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 04:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9163048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiichixo/pseuds/Kiichixo
Summary: Well he had to get in the club /somehow/.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Legit has no plot but Shikizaya is nice so have this

Blacks boots skillfully danced around high heels and shined shoes, making it's way to the guarded door near the back of the high-end club.

Now, this gathering was switched around. Usually men were more prominent in such clubs, but here? No, women were in charge this time. No man could enter without being accompanied by a woman.

It was only easier for Izaya this way.

The informant made his way to the blocked off door, hair flowing behind his form. Reaching the door, he reached out a hand to turn the knob.

"Sorry, ma'am," A muscular arm was put across the door, blocking his way. "No one is allowed past this point. Kindly go back to the party."

How polite.

The raven gave a deceiving smile as he (or rather she, from the guards perspective), dug through the pockets of his fur coat.

"I guess I need some I.D., ne~?" He pulled out his hand, a silver symbol glinting between two fingers. "I'm looking for my daddy, and I'm sure he's in this room behind you. Won't you let me through?" The young miss tilted her head with a sickly sweet smile. The man guarding the door looked at the lady in front of him, specifically at the yakuza symbol held between her delicate fingers. His eyes widened behind his unnecessary sunglasses.

"Awakusu-Kai! Forgive me, ma'am. Please, come right through. There's a guard down to your right, he'll let you in." He bowed deeply as he quickly opened the door for the young lady who skipped right along, trailing her fingers along his.

"Thank you~ Bye now." She sang before she disappeared behind the door. The guard would have been struck smitten if she had a larger chest.

Making his way down to the said door to the right, there was another guard who stopped him. Obviously all these guards were the club's brutes.

"You'll have to wait, ma'am. They are currently in a meeting." The young woman sighed softly, shuffling up to the man until they were almost chest to chest. Izaya smirked playfully when the guard shifted uncomfortably. He lifted up the pin and put it in front of a crimson eye.

"I know all you brutes have to play it safe, but I have something very important to tell my daddy, and if he hears that I was held up by some lowly guy like you he'd be _very_  upset. I can only imagine your punishment being very bloody." Again, that sweet smile made the man gulp, taking a step back into the door frame as he tried to distance himself from the girl.

"O-of course. I'll pull him out for you." He reached for the knob, face red and eyes uncertain as he stepped into the room where a meeting, or rather dealings, were taking place. All eyes were on him the second the door cracked open. A man and a woman sat across from each other on two separate sofas, a coffee table dividing them. The woman did not look pleased. If looks could kill, she just sent a dagger right through the guard's head.

"F-forgive the intrusion. A young miss is here to see one of you sirs." He stepped aside, allowing the room's occupants a look at the little lady grinning just outside the door. Many of the men behind their boss gave each other confused looks, whispering to each other "isn't that Orihara-san?" or "is he wearing a skirt?" Of course, none of the second party heard this, much to their luck. Now it was the man's turn to look sour.

"Is that your girl, Mr. Haruya?" The woman asked bitterly, Russian accent loud and clear. The man addressed as Haruya reverted his gaze and stood calmly, bowing to the regal lady.

"Apologies, miss. This will only take a moment." Without a glance to the yakuza underlings behind him, he swiftly left the room, door closing behind him as he silently walked down the hall and turned a corner, away from the guard standing by. The young "lady" trailed him, smiling innocently. As soon as they were out of sight, the executive stopped, almost making Izaya bump into his back.

"Shik—"  
  
With a loud slam the informant found himself back-to-wall, a fist holding him up by the shirt. He giggled.

"Ah, Shiki-sama, that's a little rough, don't you think?" All he earned was a darkening glare.

"Orihara—"

"Really now, you should clear my name everywhere you go. You never know when I'll just pop up. We would be in less situations like this—"

"Orihara!"

"Yes, that's my name. What is it?" The raven gave a devilish grin, making Shiki's eye twitch.

"What are you doing here? You realise this is something I cannot afford to delay? And what the hell are you wearing!?" He growled.

"Well, Shiki-sama—"

"Don't. Call me that." The older man was obviously trying to keep his cool. Raising his voice might trigger the guard's suspicion. Izaya sighed.

"If you wanted to know so badly you wouldn't interrupt me." He frowned a bit, but continued to talk once he knew Shiki wouldn't punch out his light's for that comment.

"I came to inform you that there's been a change of plans."

"With what?"

"If you put me down I'll tell you." Shiki hesitated before dropping his informant.

"Talk." He demanded. Izaya brushed himself down and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets.

"The shipments from the Russian dealers are only half of what they promised you."

"What do you mean? We've been getting full stock every shipment. We checked them all." A grin spread across the younger male's lips.

"Did you taste them though?"

. . .

"Didn't think so. There's been a decline of market with this drug in Russia. Definitely not enough to meet your demands, so I suspect half of the supply is made up of an odorless powder. After all, I can't get into the supplies myself, but I don't think you'll be disappointed by this information." The yakuza's features seemed to tighten a bit before nodding.

"Not at all. Thank you for looking into it."

"That's my job." The broker smirked. Shiki's eyes trailed down the boy's figure, which did look considerably feminine. And the fact that the long extensions Izaya wore looked extremely natural made him uncomfortable.

"What's with that getup?" Izaya looked down at himself.

"You don't think it looks cute?"

"Never said that."

"Ooh~ so you like it? I didn't know Shiki-sama was into that." The informant took a step closer, reaching up and linking his fingers behind his boss' head.

"I'm not. It look ridiculous."

And unnaturally natural, he thought. The raven pouted.

"I'm not cute? I went through all the trouble to get to you and yet you don't appreciate my hard work. Being a woman is hard, you know. Especially when they're trying to please you. It's no wonder you don't have a wife." Shiki sighed at his teasing.

"If I had a wife I'd be a lot kinder," he started, but didn't get to finish as he felt two lumps press against his chest, surprising the man.

"Orihara," he said.

"Yes?"

"Are you wearing a bra?"

"Lace. Wanna peek?"

"No." He replied quickly. He wouldn't be surprised if he had bought matching underwear. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a second before remembering he had a deal waiting to be sealed. In which case he added on that he would need to clear up something with that bitch. Damn Russians thought they could cheat, did they?

He forced the raven's hands off from around his neck.

"I'll send your payment tomorrow. Go home." He began walking off, not concerned if the information was false, because even he knew Izaya wasn't powerful enough to oppose the Awakusu-kai. He heard a whine from behind.

"Ah, but it's so cold this late out and I didn't bring any clothes to change into. Couldn't Shiki-sama give his darling daughter a ride home~?"

"Sounds like a personal problem." He said, noticing that Izaya had put up his facade again. Daughter, huh? He already had enough trouble keeping track of the little miss. Sheesh, apparently you become your boss' daughter's babysitter when you become an executive. Good thing he had Akabayashi taking care of that.

"Tch, and to think I called you daddy." The murmur was quiet, but Shiki could still hear the whining child. Ah, but he'd have to play along a little, too, huh?

"Go home. I'll be done soon." He said before entering the room once more. The woman had been tapping her manicured finger against the arm of the couch. Izaya could hear Shiki's last words as the door obscured his sight.

"Apologies, again. Now, we need to talk about a little something before this deal ends."

The broker smiled, leaving the man to his duties as he skipped down the hall to join the party. No way was he going to walk home with his legs exposed like this. So might as well enjoy the party, right?

~ Hours later ~

The door to the meeting room opened, and Shiki left looking quite stern yet also pleased with himself. After all, his demands were met and the fake inventory would be replaced immediately with real product. Any more surprises and who knows what would happen to the dealers?

They exited through the club, and Shiki suddenly found a set of arms hooked to his. Looking down he was disappointed to see that it was the same pest he told to go home hours ago.

"And what would you still be doing here?" He questioned above the noise of the club. He didn't seem to be intoxicated, but there was a faint tint to Izaya's cheeks.

"Just watching my little humans play~" He grinned from ear to ear, still clinging to his boss' arm. Seriously, did he even know the meaning of a professional attitude? There was yakuza everywhere witnessing this.

Leading the tipsy male to the car, the driver opened the door for them, trying to avoid staring at the crossdressed informant he chauffeured so often when his boss talked business with him. The two slipped into the car.

"Where to, sir?" The driver asked once he got into the driver's seat.

"Take us to Mr. Orihara's apartment." Shiki answered.

"Yes sir."

~ Half an Hour Later ~

The car stopped, and Shiki was glad for it, because finally he could get this fool off of him and go home. Izaya had blabbed half the time and clung to him full time. He couldn't even follow what the raven was saying because it was that unimportant and this "protozoan" business was definitely none of his. Who was he even talking about?

He nudged the informant off of him, who seemed to have gotten tired along the way and was drifting off. He only earned a whine.

"Shiki-sama isn't even going to walk me up to my apartment? I don't know if I can make it up that many stairs right now. Cruel, cruel. . ." He complained.

"How many drinks did you have?"

"Only one. I wouldn't pollute my body _that_  much. That should be obvious." Shiki clicked his tongue.

Lightweight.

He opened up his side of the car and practically pulled the informant out of the vehicle, standing him up on his own two feet.

"I'll be back." He informed his company as he made his way into the complex, towing Izaya behind.

Walking up the stairs proved to be a lot slower considering the slightly drunken informant wasn't as agile with alcohol in his system, but as soon as they reached Izaya's level, Shiki almost sighed in relief. What a fucked up night. Only saved him one thing and that was his money.

Finally, _finally_ , they stopped in front of the raven's apartment number, and Izaya slipped his arms away from Shiki to fish out his keys and open the door. He smiled sweetly at his boss.

"Thank you Shiki-sama~" he cooed. Gently pushing open the door to his apartment. Shiki nodded and began to turn, but Izaya caught his arm again.

"Ne~ aren't you forgetting something?" Izaya batted his eyelashes like some high school girl trying to woo some upper-grade boy. Shiki sighed. He knew what he wanted. And he knew the boy would whine about it if he didn't. Sheesh, whatever.

Izaya's lips were occupied in a second, making him close his crimson eyes as he drunkenly enjoyed the moment.

***SNAP***

"Ow!"

Izaya yelped and let go of the yakuza as he hopelessly reached for the stinging line on his back. He didn't even feel Shiki's hand reach around him. Shiki was smirking, walking away again.

"Nice bra. Don't wear it again." He said. Izaya smirked as well.

"Don't worry I will~!" He called, moving his arm to wave. He retracted it immediately when the abused skin stretched to follow his raised arm.

_Ow, ow, ow, ow. . ._


End file.
